It is believed by many people that long distance relationships are never going to work out. Even the families may discourage it. On the other side some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously. This is so as they believe that you may be left behind with a broken heart. Nobody says it is going to be easy. It is the extra distance that makes many things unachievable. Relationships could get complicated. You may feel sad and lonely at times. If we see the other side, extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. We are being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, smelling each other’s hair. All these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more and that’s just because you are in a long distance relationship. Long distance relationship may be tough. Yet, it has its own surprises too. It keeps your love alive and strong. Now here we are with some tips to make your long distance relationship work:
1. Avoid having excessive communication.It is not wise and recommended to be overly “sticky”. You should not be that possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day in order to keep the relationship going. There are many couples who think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more and taking extra initiatives . This is not at all true. Even these might only make things worse. It will be very soon that you would get tired of “loving” your partner. Here a thing to remember is that: Less is more. You should understand that it is not about spamming. By doing so you are only going to exhaust yourselves. All that matters is teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.
2. See it as a opportunity.Here what you need to get is that “If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” Take it as a learning journey for you both. Have a look at it as a test of your love for each other as partners . There is a Chinese saying that goes like, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” So, instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should strongly believe that because of this experience, both of you will be bound together and this time, even stronger.
3. Set some definite rules to look out for your expectations.Both of you need to be clear with what you expect from each other during this long distance relationship. For this you guys need to set some ground rules. This is so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise. Take an example, are you two exclusive? Is it ok for the other person to go on dates? What kind of commitment level aee you sharing ? It’s always good to be open with each other about all these things.
4. Try to communicate regularly, and be creativeIn this your first task is to greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day and this is definitely a must. Above all you must try to update your partner on your life and its happening. To make it more interesting , send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time, and that will be all. By putting in these efforts, you make the other person feel loved and cared to.
5. Have secret, love talks with each other.Ahm ahm! Young couples are really curious about this. Closeness is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. This desire is just like a glue. It keeps both parties from drifting apart. Sex is not only a biological need, it is an emotional one also. Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts. These messages and little tickling chats work alot.
6. Avoid “dangerous” situations.Do follow this one on a strict note. If you know that things like going to the club or going drinking with your friends late at night will not be liked by your partner, then you have 2 options. You should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand so to get reassurance. Don’t be careless about this sort of matter. This is because your partner is only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious. This may also upset your partner because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels extra powerless. Another thing here is that, it could be easy for you to fall into the trap unconsciously by “hanging out” with your office co mate after work, or going out with a girl or guy from your past who has been flirting with you or like you. Now here you need to recognize the dangers before entering into the situation. Do not just listen to your heart. Let your mind work too.
7. Do things together.Say you can play an online game together or watch a documentary on YouTube at the same time. Sing to each other on Skype. Let one of you play the guitar or take a walk together, outside while video-calling each other. You can go online-shopping together and buy gifts for each other. All you need is to be creative and spontaneous about it.
8. Do similar thingsYou can recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, etc. to each other. If you both read and watch the same things, you get to have more topics in to talk about. This is a good to create some shared experiences even if you are living apart. This makes you feel connected.
9. Visit each otherVisits are the connecting area of every long distance relationship. This is as you are eagerly waiting and yearning and you finally get to meet each other. Those little cute feelings could be felt like kissing, holding hands, etc. This all is common to other couples but very special and extra intimate for people in long distance relationships. Trust me, it will be like fireworks, glitter bombs, rainbows and butterflies everywhere. The feeling is woww!
10. You need to have a goal in mind.“What do we want to get at the end of the day?” “For how long are we going to be apart?” “What decisions are to be made about the future?” These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves and each other too. Here I will share a truth and the truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. There’s a time when we all need to settle down. So you need to make a plan with each other.
11. Love your alone time and value your time with your friends and family.You are alone but you are not lonely. This cannot happen unless you choose to feel like it. You need to stop revolving your world around your partner. Man, you still have you, your friends and your family and you need to take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the parks and gym more often. Try to get a new hobby. There are plenty of things for you. These doesn’t involve your partner anywhere.
12. Stay honest with each other.Talk up. Don’t hide things. Have conversations about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, etc etc. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will eat you up from inside. So, don’t try to deal with things all by yourself and tell every relevant thing to your mate. You need to be open and honest with each other and let your partner help you and give you the support you need. You know what it’s better to look at the problem during initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s too late.
13. Know each other’s schedules.It’s always helpful to know when your partner is busy and when he/she is free. This is so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. It’s definite that you wouldn’t want to disturb your partner and that too when he/she is in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. You should know all the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each other’s life. May it be, college mid-terms and exams, important business trips and meetings or job interviews, you need to know about it. This is of keen when the both of you are living in different time zones.
14. Have an idea of each other’s social media activities.Say it may be, each other’s photos on Facebook and Instagram. You can tweet each other or tag each other. You can share things on each other’s walls. And in this way you can show that you care. You can be cool about stalking each other.
15. Gift a personal object to each other.There is power in a gift. May it be a small pendent, a ring, a keychain, a CD of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance, all these are of great importance. We often attach meanings to the little things. We find these items in our everyday life. This is something that we all do. All we try is to store memories in physical things. Somewhere in our heart there’s hope that when our mind fails us, we can look on to something, toremember. And this is the sole reason why something so simple can mean so much to a person.
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